Bad New Years Resolutions

New Year's is fast approaching. It’s the start of a new decade, so this is supposed to be the year of positive change. But that’s too much pressure. Plus, most people give up on their resolutions within the first couple of months. And everyone gets tired of all the “New Year, New Me” posts. If they were going to change they would have changed by now. So here are eight bad New Year's resolutions you can actually keep.

1. Drink Less Water

Glass of water. Photo by manuschwendener on unsplash

Our bodies are 60% water, which means you should drink eight 8-ounce glasses or about half a gallon of water each day. But this a resolution that is hard to keep, an easier one is to drink less water this year. Drink water to start off your day? How about drinking a ton of coffee and energy drinks instead. Ordering water when you go out for lunch? Treat yourself to a nice cold soda or iced tea. For dinner, crack open a cold one with the boys, or a nice glass of wine for a more mellow night in. Coffee, juice, soda, alcohol, all of these beverages are better than water. So don’t waste your time drinking more of this bland beverage they call water. Loosen up and have a little fun.

2. Get Less Sleep

Cat sleeping under a white comforter. Photo by kstonematheson on unsplash

They say most healthy adults need 7 to 9 hours of sleep. But sleep is a luxury, not a need. The less you sleep, the more you can get done in a day. Study for finals or do a homework assignment that you waited until the last minute to do. If you have young children running around, you need extra time after they finally fall asleep to unwind, relax, and prepare for tomorrow. Or maybe you just need to watch one more episode of The Office or other show of your choice. You won’t be able to sleep in peace with the anticipation of wondering what happened next. The night is still young, you can sleep when you’re old.

3. Stop Talking on the Phone

Man in a white shirt talking on his cell phone. Photo by hazardos on unsplash

Do people still talk on the phone? Do they physically pick up a cell phone, dial a number, and have a spoken conversation with someone on the other line? If you don’t, then congratulations, you’re already succeeding in this New Year's resolution. If you do, I would ask you to reconsider. Most of the phone calls coming into your phone anyways seem to be spam. You wouldn’t want to waste your precious time by talking to those lame losers anyways. But what about if you use your phone to talk to your mom or grandma or another loved one? Honestly, grandma needs to learn how to text. They’re always calling you in the most inconvenient times anyways. Tell them to leave a voicemail that you won’t ever listen to.

4. Eat More Fast Food

Women sitting while holding a burger and sipping on some coke. Photo by Angelos Michalopoulos on Unsplash

Cooking can be such a waste of time! You have to go to the grocery store beforehand to buy all these ingredients to cook with. By the way, fruits and vegetables can be very expensive. Plus, you start cooking when you’re hungry, but then the food takes so long to be ready. Therefore, you start snacking, but by the time the food is done you’re not hungry anymore. Or you actually confused the sugar with the salt. Or you burnt something again. Going out and buying something to eat that is quick, fast, and fulled with carbs is honestly the best thing to do. It tastes really good too and everyone in your family will thank you.

5. Exercise the Same Amount

Women in the gym working out with weights. Photo by dncerullo on unsplash

During January, everyone gets this crazy mindset that they are going to exercise more. Which means gym membership subscriptions go way up. And if you do workout on a regular basis instead of just the beginning of the year, this can be annoying. The gym gets overcrowded with people who don’t know how to properly use the machines. It’s also embarrassing for the people who are clueless and staring at everyone else do their workouts to try to figure out what to do. Whatever amount of exercise you do, go ahead and do that. And if you don’t already go to the gym, don’t waste your money on a gym membership.

6. Talk to All of Your Exes

A man and woman, couple, hugging each other. Photo taken by priscilladupreez on unsplash

Have you ever been part of a bad breakup? Or is there an ex that you can’t particularly stand? Are you minding your own business and you get a random message or friend request from an ex months or years later after you two broke up? What would happen if you put the past behind you and become friends with your ex again? Maybe your current partner might not mind as much. Or maybe your ex has changed. You two breaking up might have been a mistake. Maybe, but also maybe not. But there is only one way to find out.

7. Go Into Debt

Shopping online during a sale while using a credit card. Photo taken by ostshem on unsplash.

Sure, you can pay off your student loans. Pay off your car payment. Pay off your mortgage. Even save up some money for the future. But the true American way is to stay in debt forever. The more debt you get into the better. Buy the experiences you always wanted but could never afford. Go on that vacation that is out of your budget. Get lessons in skiing and surfing. Go sky diving. Buy all new sunglasses and the replacement lenses from Fuse. Live large. Go big. Enjoy life. Declare bankruptcy later.

8. Make More Enemies

Two fox fighting in the snow. Photo by cloudvisual.co.uk on Unsplash

Haters gonna hate. That’s a proven fact. And that is why you should live your life without considerations of others. Do what you want and say what is on your mind. You don’t have to be nice to your boss just because he pays you and has the ability to fire you. You don’t have to neighborly to your neighbor, they make a lot of noise late at night and early in the morning. Be that crazy driver who cuts people off and honks the horn excessively. This is your year, focus on yourself and be selfish. Everyone else pretty much doesn’t matter.


Discretion Advised

As stated in the title, these are all bad New Year's resolutions ideas. This is a sarcastic post and if you do want to practice any of these resolutions, do so at your own risk. Fuse Lenses does not hold itself responsible for anything that might happen based on these resolutions.

Are My Oakleys Real?

Previous Post


Fuse Lenses 2019 in Review

Next Post

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published

Over 50+ Top
Name Brands Available

See All Colors

You choose from over 20+ colors and tints. Our highest quality lenses come with polarization and anti-reflective coatings.

Go to lens colors

Gain Access to Pre-Order!

Log in to gain access to pre-order our best selling and fastest-going lenses.

Already have an account? Log In

Lens Comparison Chart

Lens types

From the everyday to the extreme, we have lenses to meet your needs.

Learn More
Standard PRO


Quality Polycarbonate
100% UV Protection
Increased Eye Comfort
Increased Durability
Water and Oil Resistant
Lens Engraving
Enhanced Color and Clarity
Warranty Details

Fuse +Plus Warranty

Fuse +Plus lens purchases include a lifetime, 1 time replacement guarantee. It doesn’t matter if something happens today, tomorrow, or 10 years from now -- we’ve got your back.

Standard Warranty

All lens purchases include a lifetime, 1 time replacement warranty standard, no questions asked.

Extended Warranty

You can add an additional warranty replacement to your order for just $9.99. Adding this option gives you a total of TWO lens replacements over the lifetime of your lenses!
*Each extended warranty purchase applies to one set of lenses on your order. You can only purchase one extended warranty per pair of lenses. Not valid on prescription lens orders

Warranty redemptions may only be used for a lens of the same value and for the same frame as the original purchase. If your lenses become damaged at any time during the warranty time period, simply contact customer service from our Help Center to get a fresh set of lenses.

60 Day Guarantee, Buy With Confidence!

All lens purchases include a 60-day guarantee. Within 60 days after the date of delivery, you may exchange or return your item for a full refund. To be eligible for a return, your item must be unused, in the original packaging, and in the same condition that you received it.

Unfortunately, gift cards are ineligible for returns. Additionally, past 60 days we are unable to offer you a refund. To complete your return, we require proof of purchase..

We get a ton of packages, so please do not send your items back without first receiving a Return Merchandise Authorization (RMA) number. You will receive an RMA number once you have started a return or exchange. To start a return or exchange, contact us at from our Help Center.

Your Cart